Drivel, Drivel,...

everywhere I turn.

Before last week, I can't even tell you when I last read or heard this word.

Now??

It's EVERYWHERE!! I've read it in at least 6 DIFFERENT locations!

What's UP??

SERIOUSLY.

Does this say something about us or the times that I'm missing? Or is it just a coincidence? And, no, I don't believe in coincidences. Therefore, it has to mean something.

Since I can't put my finger on what it means exactly. I propose a synonym replacement, just to give me a little reprieve from all the drivel that's apparently out there.

So, how bout we switch it for blather?

Yeah, that's much better.

Thanks!

How You Know

You know it's been a very cold winter when your daughter wears her flip flops, because it's a warm 50 degrees!

Really??!

50 is the new 70, I guess.

Seriously, I've seen all manner of people dressed in Summer attire with snow still on the ground.

I don't ever recall seeing this before. Sure, in isolated cases, but never to this degree.

This morning in the drop off line I witnessed a little boy get out of his car in short sleeves and shorts . They did forecast a high of upper 60's, but when have they ever been right??

Can you guess what I saw when the next child got out??

A little girl wearing a stocking cap and winter coat. She might have even had gloves on.

Ok, now I'm really confused.

Once Upon a Time...

you could purchase furniture with no down payment, no interest, and no payments for a gazillion years!

Now??

You can purchase furniture and get free GROCERIES!!

What????!

Exactly what does that say about our times???

I'm afraid to know.

The Things Kids Say

Sometimes it's not such a good thing when your 6 year old spouts off with a culturally relevant comment that actually fits the situation.

Last night, I was listening to a new song by Marvin Winans Jr and dancing a little. Yes, I'm a Southern Baptist, and I admit to attempting to dance on occasion.

It's ok. Really.

Anyway, I was in the kitchen and had just given C his nightly dinner staple, a Grilled Cheese, when I decided to let loose a little. C's sitting at the bar, he looks up from his food and at me and proceeds to say, "Ummmm, AWK.WARD!!"

Yeah, it's those kind of things that do a Mama's heart good.

I might have told him to just close his eyes and eat his dinner. And to not ask for any dessert, because he was not getting any.

Yep, probably something like that.

A Winter Tale

Now that we're in the throes of a bitterly cold winter, we're dealing with an onset of nose bleeds among the males in the house. The two females are tougher and not prone to them. Hey, it's my story, and I'll tell it like it is.
Consequently, I saw the need to pull out the humidifier. The only problem is that it was tucked away in the laundry room, and I never could remember to pull it out. Yesterday, I had made a comment to C that I needed to get it up and running and put it back in his room. For quite awhile, the boys used it at nap and bedtime for white noise, and they couldn't sleep without it. I guess that must have been winter before last, because T had no memory of it.
Anyway, last night when we returned home from Church, C asked me again if I could get it out. By this time, it was way late and past his bedtime. I told him I'd get it out and see how bad of shape it was in and if I had a filter for it. Of course, it was extremely dusty, and I was all out of filters. I honestly didn't think I could even find the filters anymore. I told him to go on to sleep and that I'd try to fix it tomorrow. I, then, left it on the kitchen counter.
This morning, after taking M and C to school, T and I came home for him to get breakfast. He decided he needed to sit in his "hitachair", which I swear I'm going to toss in the garbage every week and somehow don't. I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with the fact that all 3 of my babies have used it, and that would mean no other babies will ever have need for it.
While sitting there, he said, "Cold, Mama, turn fire on." I thought he was referring to the fireplace and told him that since we were in the kitchen, turning the fireplace on wouldn't help him get warm. Admittedly, it was a great idea, since it was a balmy 5 degrees this morning, and I was still wearing my coat.
He repeats it again. And I, again, tell him that I'm not going to turn the fireplace on while we're in the kitchen, and that I'll do it later, when we're in the living room.
By this point, he's getting really frustrated with me. "No, Mama, the white one!"
This completely confuses me. Then I think that he's referring to the white oven, because I leave the oven door open after it's been on. So, I tell him no, I'm not going to turn the oven on either.
This is where he loses all patience with his Mama. He says in a very frustrated scream while pointing, "No, Mama, the WHITE one!"
Fortunately, I had turned around to face him and saw where he was pointing. I believe I saw the light bulb go on.
He was pointing to the humidiFIRE on the kitchen counter!! He had remembered me saying what it was called, but he couldn't remember what it did.

A Quick List to Start Off 2009

I've seen this list on a couple of different blogs and decided to give it a whirl. You know, because it's 6 days into 2009, and I've yet to post anything.
Enjoy!



Just boldface the items that you HAVE done, and leave the rest normal….



1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band or musical

4. Visited Hawaii(not yet)

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity(yes and no, depends on how you look at it)

7. Been to Disneyland/world

8. Climbed a mountain.

9. Held a praying mantis(don't know, but I see them all the time)

10. Sang a solo(you've got to be kidding me!)

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea(well, on a boat in the middle of the lake)

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch(only the art of scratching)

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked(are you kidding me? do you know my parents? i wouldn't be here today, if i had.)

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill(sad, but true)

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping(can't recall)

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29 Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33 Seen Niagara Falls in person(not yet)

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors(not yet)

35. Seen an Amish community(yes, and i was recently rescued by the Amish)

36. Taught yourself a new language(every time I step on legos)

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41 Sung karaoke(not in THIS lifetime)

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant

44. Visited Africa(not yet)

45 Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris(100 ans)

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60 Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies(no, going to Girl Scout camp when I was 8 or 9 cured me)

62. Gone whale watching(not yet)

63. Gotten flowers for no reason

64 Donated blood, platelets, or plasma(ummm, no! I pass out at the SIGHT of needles)

65. Gone sky diving(no thank you)

66 Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67 Bounced a check(another unfortunate incident)

68. Flown in a helicopter(would love to as long as it's not a medi-vac)

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy(Fred)

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar(not a fan)

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone(knocking on wood)

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person(not yet)

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem(not yet)

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House(but not the Oval Office ;) )

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating(hope i never have to)

88. Had chickenpox(and Zoyster)

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one(too many)

94. Had a baby (lol)

95. Seen the Alamo in person(at LEAST, 3 times)

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a lawsuit(currently there)

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

Oh, the irony!

We've been married 13 years, this past September, and in all those years, I've never thought ahead enough to get a "Christmas card" picture taken.
Until, this year.
In May, we went to Jamaica. Before we left,I surprised myself by remembering the people we saw at the beach, 7 years ago, with their Santa hats on taking Christmas card pictures in the sand.
Of course, I thought, this would be the perfect time to do that. So, in the last few minutes before our departure, I secured white shirts and khakis for all.
I was ever so proud of myself.
Because, truthfully, I almost always remember these kinds of things, AFTER the fact. Like when we're already in a 3rd world country without a Target or Wal-Mart within a 3 hour flight of us.
Upon arriving, we found out a free photography session was included. BINGO! We have the clothes, and now, we have the photographer.
Things were looking good, I tell you. My plans were falling perfectly into place.
I scheduled a shoot for our last day there; thinking that we'd all be toasty brown and relaxed, by then.
After experiencing rain EVERY afternoon we were there, I began praying that our shoot wouldn't be rained out. Because I had made the appointment for the absolute last minute.
In hindsight, not my brightest move.
However, the Lord answered my prayers and not a drop of rain fell that day.
Good thing, too, because our ONLY excursion? Yeah, that afternoon, as well!
Boy, was I gambling.
We had our shoot and took several pictures that would be perfect for our cards.
Now, fast forward to today. It's the middle of December, and our finances? Not good. Therefore, no Christmas cards this year!
UGHHHH!!
Why, this year?
The first year I'm PREPARED with a picture.
That, my friends, is IRONY at its best.
Do you think anyone will notice if we use the picture NEXT Christmas?



(The picture at the top is one of those pictures, but not the best one. ;))

It's My Birthday!

Today is my birthday.
I shan't say which one, but let's just say that I might re-use T's last birthday candle on my cake tonight. Because it's the number 3, and that's the most important part of my age!
Yes, 3 and not yet, 4!
It's been a good day, albeit somewhat low keyed. It started off very wintery looking, but the clouds are gone, for now, and the sun is, actually, shining on me while I type.
I took the boys to school. T had Speech this morning at his "old cool". Yes, he has an "old cool" and a "new cool". His "old cool" is where he goes for Speech, and it's in the back of C's. His "new cool" is where he goes for PAT, and it's at the school next door.
Anyway, I dropped him off and ran to town to pay a bill. I decided that since it was my birthday and all, I'd run through the Golden Arches drive thru and pick up a sausage biscuit. I inhaled it on the way back. But, in my haste, I failed to dispose of the "evidence".
Yes, I know, being the "experienced" Mother of 3, I should've known better.
Let me just say BIG MISTAKE!
Because T had no more got buckled in, when he spied it!
Let the wanting begin!
"Want somethin' else to eat! Donald's!"
(And that's what he says. Not "I'm hungry", but "Want somethin' else to eat"! I hear it all the live long day, because that kid can eat!)
Now mind you, he'd already had his breakfast, but that matters not to a 3 yr old who's staring at an enticing, but empty, bag.
I calmly told him he had already had breakfast, and I wasn't going back into town right then.
Well, hold your ears, because this kid has learned how to scream! And kick the back of Mama's seat!
"WANT SOMETHIN' ELSE TO EAT! DONALD'S! NO, GO HOME!"
Boy, was he NOT happy.
I continued driving and repeating in a calm manner, "No, not right now, maybe later!"
Not even a phone call to Daddy could calm the screaming banshee.
I finally told him that if he'd calm down and be good, we could go to Sonic after we picked Bubba and Sissy up from school.
But let's be real here for a second. That was really going to be a reward for Mommy and her ears for having to listen to him! Just don't tell him, ok?
Well, that was the trick.
Who knew that the cure for a Donald's craving was a promise of Sonic?
And guess what he said right before he fell asleep at naptime?
"After nap, get Bubba and Sissy and go to Sonic?"
That kid's got a memory to go along with those lungs!

A Non-Traditional Thanksgiving Post

Yesterday morning, our Pastor invited all of us to think past the typical Thanksgiving list of thanks and find other things we are thankful for. So, here's my list, not exhaustive, by any means, but I pray that it gets you thinking about ALL the things we have to be grateful for.

I'm THANKFUL for:

having my laptop back. Nine days is a LONG time. ;)

generous family members.

the sunshine shining through my window.

Facebook and the ability to contact and connect with old and new friends and family.

Blogs. Yes, I am grateful for laughter. It is good like medicine.

my children's laughter.

a 3 yo boy who, occasionally, manages to pee IN the potty and not around it nor on the toilet seat!

my Mom's oven to bake the Chocolate Chess pies in a few days.

Chocolate Chess pie.

Cheesecake.

The Cheesecake Factory. ;)

chocolate covered pretzels.

lower fuel prices.

unsolicited hugs and kisses from my Hubby and kids.

the "Ringer Off" setting on the phone.

peace and quiet during naptime.

clean clothes and sheets.

haircuts.

jobs, even the small ones.

the BIG sets of blueprints that I have no place to store. Because, hopefully, they'll mean BIG jobs come Spring.

meals I don't have to prepare.

someone else cleaning the kitchen up.

grass stains on the knees of a 6 yo little boy, because it means he is able to run around and fall down.

Shout and Oxi Clean spray.

Guardian Angels.

pictures to remind me of great times.

Speech Therapists.

wireless mice.

wireless phones.

wireless internet.

games of Scrabble with the one I love, even if he almost always beats me!

a dog's love.

music that speaks to my soul.

my Mom's library and borrowing rights.

a call from a friend just to say Hi and I'm thinking of you.

my nieces and nephew.


This is just a short, off the top of my head list. Obviously, I'm feeling hungry! ;)
I pray that everyone would have a Blessed Thanksgiving.

What We Must Do

As most of you know, the man I wanted to be our next President gave his concession speech last night, and I cried! My heart is deeply saddened. I'm most upset that God's children are so divided right now. It troubles me. As I'm sure it does our Lord.
Today, I'm still sad, but the verse that has come to my mind several times is

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the
earth,
so are my ways higher than your
ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts..."
Isaiah 55:8-9

I know that my hope is not in man but in the Lord. I don't know why God has placed him in this position, but I know that HE did. It didn't surprise Him, and He did it for a reason.

And another verse that keeps coming to mind

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Although, I know that my decision had nothing to do with race, I realize that people are going to be making it a big deal, one way or another. I have talked to my children about this and am confident that they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that color played no part in my decision. I vote for a person's character, morals, and integrity, above all else.

I have peace that I did all I could by voting and trying to educate people about what I believe to be the real reasons one should vote for someone. The final outcome was in God's hands. And knowing that, brings me peace. He's still on His throne and this is all part of His plan.

So, join me in prayers for our Nation, because we're more divided now than ever before. Pray for revival. Pray for our President Elect and his family. Pray that he would seek God and His wisdom. And pray that the world could see a difference in Christians, and that they would desire it, too.

And because Beth Moore says it way better than I, here's a link to her post for today.

http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2008/11/united-house.html

It's a good read and what I needed to hear this morning.

Praying for our great country and our next President.

A Strange Phenomenon!

I'm really not sure what has gotten into my youngest lately.

But this is what I heard at 10:30 yesterday morning.

"Mama, make soup!" "Make soup!" "Mama, make soup!"

And he kept repeating this louder and louder and gathering up all things necessary to make soup!

4 cans of Rotel CHECK

2 cans of Chili Beans CHECK

1 can of diced tomatoes CHECK

1 can of corn CHECK

1 large pan CHECK

1 large spoon CHECK



No, I did not make soup out of that. But we did have a can of vegetable beef soup at 10:30 in the morning!

Fast forward to this morning, "Mama, make tuna!" "Make tuna!"

Yes, my 3 yr old LOVES his tuna! He'd have it every day, if I'd let him.

So, when I tell him that it's 9:30 in the morning, and it's a little early in the day for that, he doesn't let that stop him.

He goes to the cabinet and pulls out the can of tuna.

Then goes to the refrigerator and pulls out the mayo and pickles.

Next, he pulls out the tupperware I put it in.

Then back to the appliance garage to pull out the can opener.

And, finally, tries to pull out a sharp knife! This is where I stopped him.

He did this, the first time, after watching me make tuna 1 time! Needless to say, his favorite thing to say is "watch Mama!"

I finally gave into his request at the more respectable hour of 10:30.

I wonder what we'll be eating at 10:30 tomorrow morning.

The Eldest Learns A Lesson

M decided it would be lots of fun to go and gather up some leaves in the yard and jump in them.

What she should have known, is that little brothers will, also, want to do the same thing.

But instead of being generous, she decided to forbid the youngest from jumping in "her" leaf pile.

Well, he showed her, can you guess what he did?!
















Yep, he peed all over it!

She.Was.Not.Happy!!

I wonder if she learned a valuable lesson today?

Overheard Just Now...

"Kids, Mommy and Daddy are going to be sleeping in tomorrow morning!! There's a bag of donuts in here for breakfast. You had better keep it down in the morning!"

"And it's just the donuts for tomorrow. The blueberry cake is for Sunday!"

Gotta love him!

Now, we'll just have to see how all this goes down!

You know what they say about the best laid plans, don't ya?!

Here's to us sleeping in!

Tell Me It Doesn't Start This Young!

Yesterday, right after picking C up at school, he asks me if we can go to the football game Friday.

I tell him I don't know, we'll see.

Then I ask who said something about it.

He says he doesn't know.

So, I ask why he wants to go.

He replies, "So we can watch the cheerleaders!"

You.Did.Not.Just.Say.That!















And, now for the rest of the story. He told me that the cheerleaders had come and talked to them today.

I asked if they had cheered.

He said no.

I asked if they had done any tumbling and tried to explain to him what that was.

He again said no.

And I asked what they had done.

Stuff. Just stuff.

Stuff that evidently causes a boy to want to go to a game and watch them! ;)

Not Me Monday!

If you're new to the "not me Monday" concept, click on My Charming Kids blog in my Blog List, because I still have no idea how to add links to my posts!

Anyhow, here's some of my Not Me's:

I did not forget to take my sweet Hubby something to drink, until after he had been hard at work on his truck for over 3 hours this morning.

I did not let my youngest, who's currently sporting a very runny nose and croupy cough, go outside in 50 degree weather in only a short sleeve shirt and shorts, because that's what he picked out, and I did not want to fight him.

I have not spent most of my Monday morning reading blogs and looking at photography websites, because I have way too much other stuff to do, and I would never waste time like that.

I did not spend a good 5 minutes punching my son's punching bag this morning while tears ran down my face.

I have not cried myself to sleep any this past week, nor have I cried many times a day.

I do not have a stack of unopened envelopes on my kitchen counter that I can not bear to open, because I know what they say.

I have not lain in bed, several nights lately, praying, ok worrying, about how we're going to pay the bills that are past due, pay the bills that are due, and buy the necessities like groceries and gas.

I have not repeatedly thought about researching bankruptcy, only to go into denial and tell myself I'll do it tomorrow, if things aren't better. Because we would never be at that point now.

I did not raid our "spare change" jar in order to have some money over the weekend.

And I did not "borrow" some money from C's piggy bank so I could take him to McTeacher night at McDonald's. And I did not leave my other two children at home, because I did not want to "borrow" more money to buy them some, too.

I have not gotten the least bit emotional over this election! I do have faith that God's in control no matter who He allows to be President, even if that person will be taking us that much closer to the end of time.

I have not written any run on sentences in this post.

And I am sorry that you get to read about our very real life right now. I, also, know we are indeed blessed.

Another Reason Shopping at Wal-Mart Might Be Hazardous to Your Health

And, no, it doesn't involve things Made in China! Although, these days, that's a big enough reason. As of today, 54,000 children, the only child to their parents, have been affected by the tainted formula and other dairy products. That's a travesty of the most outrageous proportions.
I truly hope that things will indeed change after this, but we're dealing with a Communist Regime, and truthfully, I'm not convinced that anything will.
Ok, enough of my soap box rantings,now on to my story. This past Sunday I needed to do some shopping for household products, one of which, was salt for our water softener.
Hubby decided to see if they still had it stocked outside in the Lawn and Garden section. That way, he wouldn't have to push a heavy cart all over the store. We saw that they did have some outside and proceeded inside to shop.
After all the shopping, we miraculously remembered to have the checker ring up the bags of salt we hadn't yet picked up. Because at this point, that was the thing I was most concerned about.
Hubby pushed the cart over to the salt, and I went to drive the van over.
When I got out, Hubby was studying the receipt and realized that the checker had rung up the more expensive salt. What the difference is, I have no idea.
After looking at the receipt myself, he tells me to go ahead and start taking the bags around to the other door while he loads the salt into the trunk. I take a couple bags around and start back. When I'm at the back of the van, Hubby asks, "Did you see what you stepped on?"
I look down at my boot and the ground, thinking I had stepped in gum and somehow didn't know it.
Not seeing anything, I look up and ask, "Was it gum?"
Hubby says, "Ummm, no, not exactly."
"What then?"
I follow his line of sight and immediately start shuddering.
There next to the cart, where I was just glancing at the receipt, lay a baby snake, and not just any old garter snake, but a copper head! Yikes!
All I could do was shudder uncontrollably and keep asking if he was dead or not, while intently staring at him. And, yes, he was dead, mouth wide open.
Apparently, I stepped on him and didn't know. Fortunately, I had my boots on and not my usual flip flops or Crocs.
This little darling was only 8 or 9 inches long, but I'm sure his bite would've still packed a punch.
Not to mention, if there's a baby, mama and daddy are probably close by. As in, probably in those piles of salt that Hubby was just in the middle of.
Needless to say, the next time we need salt, I'm thinking that I'll be working on my arm muscles and pushing that heavy cart.

It might be clean

Last night we put our oven on auto clean.
Ok, "we" didn't, but T did.
His Daddy asked him to turn the timer off, his Sister was using it to time her flute practice, but when Hubby checked on the situation, he found that T had turned the auto clean on, instead.
Oops!
Well, Lord knows our oven needed cleaning.
So, no harm done, right?!
Umm, that would be a big neg-a-tive.
I thought the worst part was having to smell "something burning", right before we went to bed.
But the worst part, happened this morning when I went to check how clean the oven got, because I have serious doubts that it will be clean.
I pulled on the door, only to discover, it was still locked!
Oh no! Now what?!
My oven might be clean, but I have no way of knowing nor a way to use it.
I guess we'll be having take out tonight!

Oh how he loves me!

Have I told you lately how much I love my Hubby and how much he loves me?
Well, I do and he does.
He shows his love in various and creative ways.
I truly love this about him.
Not only does he bring home the occasional "just because" bouquet of flowers, but he, also, does things like research great spas in town. Then goes to that spa and books an appointment for me for that very evening. And he, not only, pays for that visit, but an additional one for in the future, aka, when I'm having one of those days with the boys.
He loves me, no?!
So, it shouldn't surprise me that when we're talking the other day, he asks if I'd like a massage that evening. Because, he not only loves me, he knows me!
"Of course, Honey, I'd love one."
"Great, because Mike's wife, the guy who works for him, is a masseuse, and she's getting out of the business. So, I got a great deal on some of her stuff."
Stuff like, Hungarian.Moor.Mud. Ringing any bells?!
"Great, Honey, that sounds wonderful."
Fast forward a few hours and Hubby comes home carrying a large box and wearing a huge smile. He excitedly unloads the box, showing me different Chocolate Scented Massage Oils and a large plastic tub of Mud.
Now mind you, I think getting smeared with mud and wrapped in plastic does sound a bit extravagant and enticing, but I'm just a little concerned about how all that is going to go down at Chez Triplett's. Honestly, my Hubby isn't the neatest person on Earth. And I begin having visions of major clean up efforts after this takes place, and maybe even having to sacrifice a set of sheets.
I'm just a wee bit anxious.
Now, at the moment, Hubby is anxious to see just what this mud looks like. He rips off the plastic strip and tears off the top.
And guess what?
It looks and smells just like mud! It's dark blackish/brown and has a strong mud odor. I guess this is where the scented oil comes in.
He quickly replaces the lid and carries it down the hall to our bathroom.
What I hear next, brings back to mind those visions of major clean up, except I haven't gotten to experience the mud, yet.
"Honey, do we have any carpet cleaner?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I didn't notice until I got to the bathroom, but the bucket was dripping."
"Do what?! You mean the bucket dripped in the living room?"
"Yep, and all down the hall."
"OK, well, if we have any carpet cleaner, it's under the kitchen sink."
Now I'm trying to control my breathing and think positive thoughts. No big deal, what's a little mud? Right?
After a few minutes, he inquires, "Do we have any more? Because this isn't budging it."
"Ummm, no, I don't believe we do. Did you try Oxi-Clean? That usually works pretty well."
My thoughts quickly turn to anxious prayers along the lines of "Dear Lord, please let the Oxi-Clean work. I really don't want to go to jail for choking my Hubby."
"No, where is it?"
I tell him its' location, and he responds a few minutes later, "Nope, that didn't work either. How would you feel if I dyed the carpet black?"
Needless to say, that wasn't in my decorating visions for our house.
For now, my "white" carpet has leopard spots all down the hallway. Maybe leopard print carpet will come into style.
And the Hubby? He's still alive and breathing. I really do love him.
But, I'm secretly hoping he doesn't have any more grandiose ideas about how to show me his love, at least for a little while.

Lessons Recently Learned

No matter how much fun it appears to be, 5 yr old boys should not “hang” from their Mommy’s back windshield wiper. It will not hold them, even if said 5 yr old is a stick boy. And when that Mommy, unknowingly, turns that wiper on, it will do strange things and make even stranger noises.

Spiderman forks that are greatly loved by a certain 3 yr old boy are not greatly loved by my microwave. And said boy will not be happy when he has to throw his new fork away.

The locking soap dispenser on the dishwasher locks for a reason. Do not attempt to use the dishwasher without locking it. Your dishes will not be sparkling clean and just might have blue soap spots all over them, if you do. 3 yr old boys really like to “help” their Mommies.

Hungarian Moor Mud does not “go” with off white patterned Berber carpet nor does it come off of said carpet. This needs a whole post all its’ own.

When spraying Hornet spray into a can light on your back deck/porch beware, because a bat just might come out. And a man, who appears to be the epitome of manliness, just might jump 2 feet off the ground and run around screaming like a girl, not that my Hubby would do such a thing.

Even if my purse appears to be a good drink holder, with its’ large size, shape, and open top, it’s not! However, it will hold approximately 4 ½ ounces of lemonade without losing a drop! Note to my MIL and SIL, put the phone down. Do not make that call to the Coach abusers hot line. They will not grant you foster care of said purse. Sorry! And, no, I was not the one who decided to use it as a drink holder, that Hubby shall remain nameless. I do believe that this incident should entitle me to a new purse for Christmas.

When 3 yr old boys squeeze out ¾ ths of a tube of Ben-Gay and use it to cover both sides of their hands, both feet, a leg, and smear the rest all over your bathroom floor, your bathroom will smell minty fresh for several days, your sinuses will be cleared out, and you will have all kinds of fun cleaning both up.

3 yr old boys, who only moments before opening the 'frig, wanted soup, will no longer want soup when they spy a package of Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip cookies. And you may have a hard time prying that package out of their hands.

A 3 yr old boy who sees a pair of Cars house shoes and Cars Crocs in a shoe store, will want to try them on and will not want to take them off. And you may find yourself using a bear hug hold on him while your Hubby pulls the shoes off his feet. People in the store just might stare at you and cover their ears, while he screams.

Golder Retrievers are capable of shedding 2 times their body weight in fur each week and in fact, do. After cleaning up that fur, you could fully fur, say that 3 times fast, all number of furless varieties with it. And when you deal with this much "log" hair, as T calls it, you will find yourself trying to find a way to capitalize on it.

Note: I'm bummed I can't figure out why my italics feature isn't working right. Waaahh!! It's not the same without it. Kind of like talking isn't the same without using your hands.

May I Make A Suggestion?

On those days you find yourself needing a hit of chocolate, but don't have the time to make, or don't need, a whole pan of brownies, might I suggest keeping a supply of Betty Crocker Warm Delights Minis, Molten Chocolate Cake, on hand?
They're surprisingly easy to make and quite tasty.
Plus, they're only 150 calories, and if you should feel the need/have to share some with a child or two, you can have all the pleasure with a lot less guilt.
That's the beauty of having children.
All those nutritional guidelines about caloric count?
Cut them in half, or in my case, fourths!
Which begs me to ask the question, then why am I so much bigger now than before I had children? I guess it's one of those mysteries of the universe we're not meant to understand.
Oh, and if you're a little OC about collecting Box Tops for school, like someone I know, I won't mention any names. It's to protect the innocent, or is it the guilty? But, if you know someone like that, these have one of those, too.
So, I'm really eating to support the school system.
Yeah, that’s it.