Another Reason Shopping at Wal-Mart Might Be Hazardous to Your Health

And, no, it doesn't involve things Made in China! Although, these days, that's a big enough reason. As of today, 54,000 children, the only child to their parents, have been affected by the tainted formula and other dairy products. That's a travesty of the most outrageous proportions.
I truly hope that things will indeed change after this, but we're dealing with a Communist Regime, and truthfully, I'm not convinced that anything will.
Ok, enough of my soap box rantings,now on to my story. This past Sunday I needed to do some shopping for household products, one of which, was salt for our water softener.
Hubby decided to see if they still had it stocked outside in the Lawn and Garden section. That way, he wouldn't have to push a heavy cart all over the store. We saw that they did have some outside and proceeded inside to shop.
After all the shopping, we miraculously remembered to have the checker ring up the bags of salt we hadn't yet picked up. Because at this point, that was the thing I was most concerned about.
Hubby pushed the cart over to the salt, and I went to drive the van over.
When I got out, Hubby was studying the receipt and realized that the checker had rung up the more expensive salt. What the difference is, I have no idea.
After looking at the receipt myself, he tells me to go ahead and start taking the bags around to the other door while he loads the salt into the trunk. I take a couple bags around and start back. When I'm at the back of the van, Hubby asks, "Did you see what you stepped on?"
I look down at my boot and the ground, thinking I had stepped in gum and somehow didn't know it.
Not seeing anything, I look up and ask, "Was it gum?"
Hubby says, "Ummm, no, not exactly."
"What then?"
I follow his line of sight and immediately start shuddering.
There next to the cart, where I was just glancing at the receipt, lay a baby snake, and not just any old garter snake, but a copper head! Yikes!
All I could do was shudder uncontrollably and keep asking if he was dead or not, while intently staring at him. And, yes, he was dead, mouth wide open.
Apparently, I stepped on him and didn't know. Fortunately, I had my boots on and not my usual flip flops or Crocs.
This little darling was only 8 or 9 inches long, but I'm sure his bite would've still packed a punch.
Not to mention, if there's a baby, mama and daddy are probably close by. As in, probably in those piles of salt that Hubby was just in the middle of.
Needless to say, the next time we need salt, I'm thinking that I'll be working on my arm muscles and pushing that heavy cart.

It might be clean

Last night we put our oven on auto clean.
Ok, "we" didn't, but T did.
His Daddy asked him to turn the timer off, his Sister was using it to time her flute practice, but when Hubby checked on the situation, he found that T had turned the auto clean on, instead.
Oops!
Well, Lord knows our oven needed cleaning.
So, no harm done, right?!
Umm, that would be a big neg-a-tive.
I thought the worst part was having to smell "something burning", right before we went to bed.
But the worst part, happened this morning when I went to check how clean the oven got, because I have serious doubts that it will be clean.
I pulled on the door, only to discover, it was still locked!
Oh no! Now what?!
My oven might be clean, but I have no way of knowing nor a way to use it.
I guess we'll be having take out tonight!

Oh how he loves me!

Have I told you lately how much I love my Hubby and how much he loves me?
Well, I do and he does.
He shows his love in various and creative ways.
I truly love this about him.
Not only does he bring home the occasional "just because" bouquet of flowers, but he, also, does things like research great spas in town. Then goes to that spa and books an appointment for me for that very evening. And he, not only, pays for that visit, but an additional one for in the future, aka, when I'm having one of those days with the boys.
He loves me, no?!
So, it shouldn't surprise me that when we're talking the other day, he asks if I'd like a massage that evening. Because, he not only loves me, he knows me!
"Of course, Honey, I'd love one."
"Great, because Mike's wife, the guy who works for him, is a masseuse, and she's getting out of the business. So, I got a great deal on some of her stuff."
Stuff like, Hungarian.Moor.Mud. Ringing any bells?!
"Great, Honey, that sounds wonderful."
Fast forward a few hours and Hubby comes home carrying a large box and wearing a huge smile. He excitedly unloads the box, showing me different Chocolate Scented Massage Oils and a large plastic tub of Mud.
Now mind you, I think getting smeared with mud and wrapped in plastic does sound a bit extravagant and enticing, but I'm just a little concerned about how all that is going to go down at Chez Triplett's. Honestly, my Hubby isn't the neatest person on Earth. And I begin having visions of major clean up efforts after this takes place, and maybe even having to sacrifice a set of sheets.
I'm just a wee bit anxious.
Now, at the moment, Hubby is anxious to see just what this mud looks like. He rips off the plastic strip and tears off the top.
And guess what?
It looks and smells just like mud! It's dark blackish/brown and has a strong mud odor. I guess this is where the scented oil comes in.
He quickly replaces the lid and carries it down the hall to our bathroom.
What I hear next, brings back to mind those visions of major clean up, except I haven't gotten to experience the mud, yet.
"Honey, do we have any carpet cleaner?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I didn't notice until I got to the bathroom, but the bucket was dripping."
"Do what?! You mean the bucket dripped in the living room?"
"Yep, and all down the hall."
"OK, well, if we have any carpet cleaner, it's under the kitchen sink."
Now I'm trying to control my breathing and think positive thoughts. No big deal, what's a little mud? Right?
After a few minutes, he inquires, "Do we have any more? Because this isn't budging it."
"Ummm, no, I don't believe we do. Did you try Oxi-Clean? That usually works pretty well."
My thoughts quickly turn to anxious prayers along the lines of "Dear Lord, please let the Oxi-Clean work. I really don't want to go to jail for choking my Hubby."
"No, where is it?"
I tell him its' location, and he responds a few minutes later, "Nope, that didn't work either. How would you feel if I dyed the carpet black?"
Needless to say, that wasn't in my decorating visions for our house.
For now, my "white" carpet has leopard spots all down the hallway. Maybe leopard print carpet will come into style.
And the Hubby? He's still alive and breathing. I really do love him.
But, I'm secretly hoping he doesn't have any more grandiose ideas about how to show me his love, at least for a little while.

Lessons Recently Learned

No matter how much fun it appears to be, 5 yr old boys should not “hang” from their Mommy’s back windshield wiper. It will not hold them, even if said 5 yr old is a stick boy. And when that Mommy, unknowingly, turns that wiper on, it will do strange things and make even stranger noises.

Spiderman forks that are greatly loved by a certain 3 yr old boy are not greatly loved by my microwave. And said boy will not be happy when he has to throw his new fork away.

The locking soap dispenser on the dishwasher locks for a reason. Do not attempt to use the dishwasher without locking it. Your dishes will not be sparkling clean and just might have blue soap spots all over them, if you do. 3 yr old boys really like to “help” their Mommies.

Hungarian Moor Mud does not “go” with off white patterned Berber carpet nor does it come off of said carpet. This needs a whole post all its’ own.

When spraying Hornet spray into a can light on your back deck/porch beware, because a bat just might come out. And a man, who appears to be the epitome of manliness, just might jump 2 feet off the ground and run around screaming like a girl, not that my Hubby would do such a thing.

Even if my purse appears to be a good drink holder, with its’ large size, shape, and open top, it’s not! However, it will hold approximately 4 ½ ounces of lemonade without losing a drop! Note to my MIL and SIL, put the phone down. Do not make that call to the Coach abusers hot line. They will not grant you foster care of said purse. Sorry! And, no, I was not the one who decided to use it as a drink holder, that Hubby shall remain nameless. I do believe that this incident should entitle me to a new purse for Christmas.

When 3 yr old boys squeeze out ¾ ths of a tube of Ben-Gay and use it to cover both sides of their hands, both feet, a leg, and smear the rest all over your bathroom floor, your bathroom will smell minty fresh for several days, your sinuses will be cleared out, and you will have all kinds of fun cleaning both up.

3 yr old boys, who only moments before opening the 'frig, wanted soup, will no longer want soup when they spy a package of Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip cookies. And you may have a hard time prying that package out of their hands.

A 3 yr old boy who sees a pair of Cars house shoes and Cars Crocs in a shoe store, will want to try them on and will not want to take them off. And you may find yourself using a bear hug hold on him while your Hubby pulls the shoes off his feet. People in the store just might stare at you and cover their ears, while he screams.

Golder Retrievers are capable of shedding 2 times their body weight in fur each week and in fact, do. After cleaning up that fur, you could fully fur, say that 3 times fast, all number of furless varieties with it. And when you deal with this much "log" hair, as T calls it, you will find yourself trying to find a way to capitalize on it.

Note: I'm bummed I can't figure out why my italics feature isn't working right. Waaahh!! It's not the same without it. Kind of like talking isn't the same without using your hands.