Lessons Recently Learned

No matter how much fun it appears to be, 5 yr old boys should not “hang” from their Mommy’s back windshield wiper. It will not hold them, even if said 5 yr old is a stick boy. And when that Mommy, unknowingly, turns that wiper on, it will do strange things and make even stranger noises.

Spiderman forks that are greatly loved by a certain 3 yr old boy are not greatly loved by my microwave. And said boy will not be happy when he has to throw his new fork away.

The locking soap dispenser on the dishwasher locks for a reason. Do not attempt to use the dishwasher without locking it. Your dishes will not be sparkling clean and just might have blue soap spots all over them, if you do. 3 yr old boys really like to “help” their Mommies.

Hungarian Moor Mud does not “go” with off white patterned Berber carpet nor does it come off of said carpet. This needs a whole post all its’ own.

When spraying Hornet spray into a can light on your back deck/porch beware, because a bat just might come out. And a man, who appears to be the epitome of manliness, just might jump 2 feet off the ground and run around screaming like a girl, not that my Hubby would do such a thing.

Even if my purse appears to be a good drink holder, with its’ large size, shape, and open top, it’s not! However, it will hold approximately 4 ½ ounces of lemonade without losing a drop! Note to my MIL and SIL, put the phone down. Do not make that call to the Coach abusers hot line. They will not grant you foster care of said purse. Sorry! And, no, I was not the one who decided to use it as a drink holder, that Hubby shall remain nameless. I do believe that this incident should entitle me to a new purse for Christmas.

When 3 yr old boys squeeze out ¾ ths of a tube of Ben-Gay and use it to cover both sides of their hands, both feet, a leg, and smear the rest all over your bathroom floor, your bathroom will smell minty fresh for several days, your sinuses will be cleared out, and you will have all kinds of fun cleaning both up.

3 yr old boys, who only moments before opening the 'frig, wanted soup, will no longer want soup when they spy a package of Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip cookies. And you may have a hard time prying that package out of their hands.

A 3 yr old boy who sees a pair of Cars house shoes and Cars Crocs in a shoe store, will want to try them on and will not want to take them off. And you may find yourself using a bear hug hold on him while your Hubby pulls the shoes off his feet. People in the store just might stare at you and cover their ears, while he screams.

Golder Retrievers are capable of shedding 2 times their body weight in fur each week and in fact, do. After cleaning up that fur, you could fully fur, say that 3 times fast, all number of furless varieties with it. And when you deal with this much "log" hair, as T calls it, you will find yourself trying to find a way to capitalize on it.

Note: I'm bummed I can't figure out why my italics feature isn't working right. Waaahh!! It's not the same without it. Kind of like talking isn't the same without using your hands.