Oh how he loves me!

Have I told you lately how much I love my Hubby and how much he loves me?
Well, I do and he does.
He shows his love in various and creative ways.
I truly love this about him.
Not only does he bring home the occasional "just because" bouquet of flowers, but he, also, does things like research great spas in town. Then goes to that spa and books an appointment for me for that very evening. And he, not only, pays for that visit, but an additional one for in the future, aka, when I'm having one of those days with the boys.
He loves me, no?!
So, it shouldn't surprise me that when we're talking the other day, he asks if I'd like a massage that evening. Because, he not only loves me, he knows me!
"Of course, Honey, I'd love one."
"Great, because Mike's wife, the guy who works for him, is a masseuse, and she's getting out of the business. So, I got a great deal on some of her stuff."
Stuff like, Hungarian.Moor.Mud. Ringing any bells?!
"Great, Honey, that sounds wonderful."
Fast forward a few hours and Hubby comes home carrying a large box and wearing a huge smile. He excitedly unloads the box, showing me different Chocolate Scented Massage Oils and a large plastic tub of Mud.
Now mind you, I think getting smeared with mud and wrapped in plastic does sound a bit extravagant and enticing, but I'm just a little concerned about how all that is going to go down at Chez Triplett's. Honestly, my Hubby isn't the neatest person on Earth. And I begin having visions of major clean up efforts after this takes place, and maybe even having to sacrifice a set of sheets.
I'm just a wee bit anxious.
Now, at the moment, Hubby is anxious to see just what this mud looks like. He rips off the plastic strip and tears off the top.
And guess what?
It looks and smells just like mud! It's dark blackish/brown and has a strong mud odor. I guess this is where the scented oil comes in.
He quickly replaces the lid and carries it down the hall to our bathroom.
What I hear next, brings back to mind those visions of major clean up, except I haven't gotten to experience the mud, yet.
"Honey, do we have any carpet cleaner?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I didn't notice until I got to the bathroom, but the bucket was dripping."
"Do what?! You mean the bucket dripped in the living room?"
"Yep, and all down the hall."
"OK, well, if we have any carpet cleaner, it's under the kitchen sink."
Now I'm trying to control my breathing and think positive thoughts. No big deal, what's a little mud? Right?
After a few minutes, he inquires, "Do we have any more? Because this isn't budging it."
"Ummm, no, I don't believe we do. Did you try Oxi-Clean? That usually works pretty well."
My thoughts quickly turn to anxious prayers along the lines of "Dear Lord, please let the Oxi-Clean work. I really don't want to go to jail for choking my Hubby."
"No, where is it?"
I tell him its' location, and he responds a few minutes later, "Nope, that didn't work either. How would you feel if I dyed the carpet black?"
Needless to say, that wasn't in my decorating visions for our house.
For now, my "white" carpet has leopard spots all down the hallway. Maybe leopard print carpet will come into style.
And the Hubby? He's still alive and breathing. I really do love him.
But, I'm secretly hoping he doesn't have any more grandiose ideas about how to show me his love, at least for a little while.